For 12 years of my life, I had the privilege of wearing the stripes of an Air Force airman. By the time I finished my career as an E6 Technical Sergeant, I had the distinct privilege of learning how to be a leader from some of the most distinguished and honorable military leaders that anyone could have asked for.
Sgt. Michael Kovach drilled into my head on almost a daily basis that the two fundamental elements of leadership are the mission and the people who accomplish the mission. Under his leadership, I learned that being a leader was more than managing personnel, but leadership was the art of influencing people. I learned that a leader that is willing to engage in a mission and fight beside those who they lead, instead of just enforcing policy and sitting behind a desk, are the leaders that troops will give 100% for.
Sgt Ronald Crowl also taught me some valuable lessons in leadership. He showed me that knowledge is power. The more you know about the job you are doing, allows you the opportunity to share that knowledge and power with those that work for you. This makes the team stronger and allows each person to diversify their portfolios so that it makes them more marketable and a bigger asset.
Sgt Freddie Eckert showed me that integrity, pride in appearance, and pride in your abilities was key in accomplishing mentoring to others without saying a word. This alone was enough to influence other to be better than the norm. This taught me that if I have integrity and ethics, I believe in myself, without saying a word, I can show subordinates and my leadership that I am ready and willing to lead by my actions.
Sgt Joseph Portuondo was the best friend and cohort that I could have ever asked for. Because of the parallel of our career, he was never really in the position to be my direct supervisor, but he was always my friend. We got into numerous situations and we got out of those situations together as a team. We didn't always agree on the methods of alleviating situations, but when our backs were against the wall, we were a team and we lived and fought as brothers. He showed me what it was like to be brothers at arms.
The 12 years I spent in the Armed Forces shaped me and made me the man I am today. These values and leadership qualities have been lessons that I could carry into any job or mission and I'm set up for success.
The road has not always been easy. There have been times when I felt like I was forgotten, pressured, spit on by the very ones I vowed to give my life for. I had moments when I didn't think I would make it through, but when I was in the darkest part of my life (both personal and professional) I remembered the words of 4 Sgts that influenced me the most.
As a police officer, it's harder to find leadership that is as defined as it is in the military. Bureaucracy has a way of forgetting that police officers work in a fluid environment. Changes happen by the moment and it's the training, values, and ethics of individual officers that change a person's life at that very moment. However, because of the teaching and mentoring I have received from my military days, I have not bent to the bureaucratic agenda when my personal integrity, values, and ethics were questioned or came under scrutiny. For this, I have my pride and honor intact.
To those that have given me the training and leadership that have made me the person I am today, I want to say thank you. Many of you have not been named due to the lack of time and words to express my most sincere gratitude. However, you have not been forgotten.
Thank you.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
The unspeakable sin.
She sat on the couch with her feet tucked under her and her chin resting on her knees. Gazing into the television, she looked past the pointless picture and white noise and found herself wondering around her mind, running the mental video of yesterday through her mind and searching for clues to todays tragic events. Breathing in and out and occasionally aiming her breath to keep her tangled bangs from her eyes, she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and softly shakes her head in unquestionable disappointment.
She peeks over her shoulder and gazes at the flowers delivered earlier that morning. The mix of yellow roses and wild flowers served as a reminder of one of the most confusing and hurtful days of her life. If only he would have listened. If only he would have heard her say the words that could have saved him. She closes her eyes and buries her face into her knees as a small tear rolled down her face and suspended from the corner of her chin until the salty tear softly gathered enough of a following to fall to a soft landing on the thigh of her pajama pants. "Why?" she whispered to herself.
She threw her head back in a sort of resolve and took a deep breath as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Why didn't you listen?!" she yells. She walks over to the flowers and in disgust, pulls them from the green glass vase. She walks over to the trash and shoves the flowers into the trash and then turns around as the emotions hit her again. She leans her forehead against the refrigerator and tightly squeezes the last bit of tears from her eyes. "Why?!"
Determined to overcome the heartbreak and loneliness, she calls the one person that can help her see past the tragedy. "Dad, he's gone. I'm lonely and I didn't think that he would ever go so tragically."
Her dad takes a deep breath and ask her to explain the last conversation that was shared between them to hopefully shine some light on the tragic event. "Well," she said as she sniffed her nose dry, "I told him that all I wanted was some flowers...." Her dad again, questions her true intentions and asked if all she said was "flowers."
"Yes! I told him that all I wanted was flowers and that's all he gave me before he left."
"Well, Sweetheart, if you wanted a different gift, then why didn't you say so? If you said you wanted flowers, then why did you kick him out, throw a brick through his car window and light his clothes on fire in the front lawn if he gave you exactly what you wanted?"
"He should have known without me telling him, Dad!"
She peeks over her shoulder and gazes at the flowers delivered earlier that morning. The mix of yellow roses and wild flowers served as a reminder of one of the most confusing and hurtful days of her life. If only he would have listened. If only he would have heard her say the words that could have saved him. She closes her eyes and buries her face into her knees as a small tear rolled down her face and suspended from the corner of her chin until the salty tear softly gathered enough of a following to fall to a soft landing on the thigh of her pajama pants. "Why?" she whispered to herself.
She threw her head back in a sort of resolve and took a deep breath as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Why didn't you listen?!" she yells. She walks over to the flowers and in disgust, pulls them from the green glass vase. She walks over to the trash and shoves the flowers into the trash and then turns around as the emotions hit her again. She leans her forehead against the refrigerator and tightly squeezes the last bit of tears from her eyes. "Why?!"
Determined to overcome the heartbreak and loneliness, she calls the one person that can help her see past the tragedy. "Dad, he's gone. I'm lonely and I didn't think that he would ever go so tragically."
Her dad takes a deep breath and ask her to explain the last conversation that was shared between them to hopefully shine some light on the tragic event. "Well," she said as she sniffed her nose dry, "I told him that all I wanted was some flowers...." Her dad again, questions her true intentions and asked if all she said was "flowers."
"Yes! I told him that all I wanted was flowers and that's all he gave me before he left."
"Well, Sweetheart, if you wanted a different gift, then why didn't you say so? If you said you wanted flowers, then why did you kick him out, throw a brick through his car window and light his clothes on fire in the front lawn if he gave you exactly what you wanted?"
"He should have known without me telling him, Dad!"
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Small things
There was a time when I felt it necessary to publicly voice my opinion and deep seeded feelings about life and situations that I have been through. Some of those feelings were as fresh as the moment I wrote them. There was no real thought about consequence or who I may be hurting, but the idea that getting my thoughts together and venting publically would allow me a sort of freedom and integrity. I may have placed myself in an embarrassing moment, but the embarrassment was secondary to the fact that my integrity meant more to me than perception. To be honest, the fact that I was being so honest with myself and others gave me an empowerment that overshadowed any embarrassing moment, because I was honest and open about what I felt and why I felt the way that I did. However, I have to concede to the fact that everyone has problems and issues that are no less important than my own. Everyone has a story. Everyone has something to say and sometimes it's just as important to remain silent and just listen.
Listening has become a talent that very few have, no one really wants, and everyone needs. It is this certain revelation that I have become keen on while doing the job that I believe I have been called to do. Police.
When I first started as a young charismatic police officer, I was given the opportunity to patrol some of the hardest and dangerous streets in America. My eyes and ears were trained to spot danger and react/alleviate the danger despite the cost. Fighting and bravado became a strength that was relied on while dealing with people that I looked at as indigenous. I got the job done. I made arrest and I gave people, as well as fellow officers, the peace of mind that I could go to war and accomplish the mission. Although officer safety was my first concern, one of the things that I recognized is that statistics and success was not always a winning combination.
There have been several cases where I have arrested suspects for heinous and violent crimes and I've gone home with a sense of accomplishment. In reality, I did accomplish the main objective, but did I do everything that a police officer should, not just the victims of crimes, but also for the suspect that was arrested?
Prior to graduating college with a Bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice, I attended courses that painted a different picture of who I was and what I wanted to be. These courses opened my eyes to a perspective that maybe I was blind to previously. I learned that police work was more than just making arrest. It was more than chasing down drug dealers and burglars. It was more about giving people hope. It was about showing people that my personal perspective and beliefs were not more important than the one's asking for help or the one's that I was arresting.
Over the past couple of years, I have engaged citizens who have been victims of abuse, crime, and economic ruin. I have encountered mentally ill citizens that were looking for more than medication and tolerance. By opening up my mind and seeing more than what the moment was revealing on the surface, I've learned that each encounter with a person is a chance to be an ambassador of hope for a future. I've learned that some suspects are not just dirt bags, but some of these people and suspects are people looking for answers and guidance. Some are looking for heroes and positive role models. Believe it or not, without choosing to be a hero or a role model, when pinning the badge of a police officer on my shirt everyday, I am in a position to teach and be the hero that they are expecting me to be. This is the reason that I love my job. Not only am I the one to save someone's life, but I'm also the one to show them that there is at least one person in the world that believes they are worth saving.
After all, I believe that if I can be the one to listen and show them the respect that they believe they deserve, then I'm not only correcting a behavior, but I'm also allowing them the chance to see that changing their future is possible. I have heard several testimonies from officers that have said that years later, someone that they have arrested or encountered have returned to them and told them that their encounter was a life changing moment. I can only hope that one day, I will be rewarded with the chance to give this same testimony. The majority of officers that I work with have hope that this will also be their testimony.
Listening has become a talent that very few have, no one really wants, and everyone needs. It is this certain revelation that I have become keen on while doing the job that I believe I have been called to do. Police.
When I first started as a young charismatic police officer, I was given the opportunity to patrol some of the hardest and dangerous streets in America. My eyes and ears were trained to spot danger and react/alleviate the danger despite the cost. Fighting and bravado became a strength that was relied on while dealing with people that I looked at as indigenous. I got the job done. I made arrest and I gave people, as well as fellow officers, the peace of mind that I could go to war and accomplish the mission. Although officer safety was my first concern, one of the things that I recognized is that statistics and success was not always a winning combination.
There have been several cases where I have arrested suspects for heinous and violent crimes and I've gone home with a sense of accomplishment. In reality, I did accomplish the main objective, but did I do everything that a police officer should, not just the victims of crimes, but also for the suspect that was arrested?
Prior to graduating college with a Bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice, I attended courses that painted a different picture of who I was and what I wanted to be. These courses opened my eyes to a perspective that maybe I was blind to previously. I learned that police work was more than just making arrest. It was more than chasing down drug dealers and burglars. It was more about giving people hope. It was about showing people that my personal perspective and beliefs were not more important than the one's asking for help or the one's that I was arresting.
Over the past couple of years, I have engaged citizens who have been victims of abuse, crime, and economic ruin. I have encountered mentally ill citizens that were looking for more than medication and tolerance. By opening up my mind and seeing more than what the moment was revealing on the surface, I've learned that each encounter with a person is a chance to be an ambassador of hope for a future. I've learned that some suspects are not just dirt bags, but some of these people and suspects are people looking for answers and guidance. Some are looking for heroes and positive role models. Believe it or not, without choosing to be a hero or a role model, when pinning the badge of a police officer on my shirt everyday, I am in a position to teach and be the hero that they are expecting me to be. This is the reason that I love my job. Not only am I the one to save someone's life, but I'm also the one to show them that there is at least one person in the world that believes they are worth saving.
After all, I believe that if I can be the one to listen and show them the respect that they believe they deserve, then I'm not only correcting a behavior, but I'm also allowing them the chance to see that changing their future is possible. I have heard several testimonies from officers that have said that years later, someone that they have arrested or encountered have returned to them and told them that their encounter was a life changing moment. I can only hope that one day, I will be rewarded with the chance to give this same testimony. The majority of officers that I work with have hope that this will also be their testimony.
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